So here's the thing...I WON'T censor those that contribute to KTM (not on purpose, Crystal. C'mon now). I may choose to NOT publish something all together or edit down an obscene amount of pictures (and that's my choice to make) but cut out some chunky shit? No, thank you. Bring it. Would you like to help me welcome the newest member of the KTM family?
Warner Bros. BET Party or some shit like that...
June 25, 2010
Have you ever been on the elevator with people and thought to yourself: I hope they’re not going to the same place as me. And when you realize that indeed those folks are headed to your destination your second thought is: I need to stay 8-10 paces behind them so other people don't think I’m with them. Those were my exact two thoughts upon arriving at The Highlands in Hollywood for the Warner Bros. Records Pre BET Awards Celebration.
Now that we’ve all had a chance to cry with/for Chris Brown and laugh at Nicki Minaj being awarded BET’s “Best Female Hip-Hop Artist” title (I’m not the only one laughing right?) let’s rewind and dish on the lame pre-party I attended. My first clue as to what type of event I was attending came as I arrived in the elevator with three females speculating on which celebrities might be at the event that they could push up on. One of the “ladies” wore a shirt as a dress (not to be confused with a shirt dress though she obviously was) that barely covered her bum. I’m still wondering how she kept the shirt from rising. Sweat maybe?
After my name was finally found on the RSVP list I headed to security for a bag check at which point I was told that no gum was allowed in the club. My fresh pack of Wintermint Orbit Gum was immediately confiscated by a gum smacking security guard. When event producers plan for and set policies such as “no gum allowed” it means they've predetermined what type of crowd they’re expecting. Therefore everything about the type of party Warner Bros. Records was throwing that night was communicated to me in the first 5 minutes of my arrival.
At that point I was agitated and needed a drink. To be more specific: I needed liquor. So I headed over to the bar (which looked a mess) and ordered a rum and pineapple (still waiting for the rum portion of that drink). While sipping my pineapple juice I decided to settle in for what I could tell would be a long night. Found a comfy position leaning against a riser and went into tweet mode.
I happened to look up from tweeting to find a small, well waxed ass-a-jiggling descending down towards my face. Seriously. Where did these go-go dancers come from? And what are they wearing? Bra tops, cheekies (which became thongs), fishnet stockings, furry legwarmer like thingies, and one dancer wore Converse sneakers. To some of you this may seem sexy but it wasn’t. Many of the dancers lacked rhythm and good choreography. That irked me. There weren’t even any black go-go girls at this party celebrating BET. I'd like WB to at least be equal opportunity with their low grade thong girls next time around.
Then, I noticed that I was also standing next to a section of booths reserved for VIP. I didn’t see any VIPs but a pair of young, skinny guys who thought they were special occupied the space. Members of their posse kept standing on the seats of the booths and sitting on the ledge of the wall. Security asked them several times to get get down for safety reasons, to which the young and skinnies told them, “They can do what they want cuz this is our party.”
Who are these punks? After practically being knocked over half the night by groupies trying to get to them I found out it was the New Boyz, who later in the night were presented with their double platinum albums. Well, like their song says..."You’re a Jerk." Write what you know, huh?
Time for the celeb photo op on stage. In the building: Angie Martinez, Rocsi of 106th and Park, Ajay from BET, LisaRaye (can you guess what color she was wearing?), Twista, Slim Thug, Ciroc Boys, Quinton Aaron (portrayed Big Mike in the Blind Side), and Kiiiiiiid Capri.
Is this night over yet? Nope. Still need to get through the special musical performances; which didn’t begin until 1:30AM. First up: Lyfe Jennings. After encouraging all the ladies not to be a booty call via lyrics in his song, “Statistics,” I really thought he had gotten through to the groupies. Wrong. Not a minute after he finished it was back to folks trying to make it rain.
Next up: Kandi Burruss (“ATL Housewive” and former Xscape member). Like her, not such a fan of her songs, so let’s move on. The New Boyz capped the night off making me wish I’d left hours ago.
Only saving grace that night was DJ D-Nice spinning songs I actually don’t mind hearing. I think I might have enjoyed that event about 13 years ago; before I was old enough to know better. In my opinion it’s not a party unless there is A) an open bar or Jello shots, B) a buffet, passed hors d’oeurves or pot luck, or C) gift bags. Basically free stuff. Do better next time.
-Mercedes Yolanda Cooper